Bonding With Your Daughter Over Your Life Stories
Here is my 3rd post in the 5 Days of…Summer Blog Hop with the IHomeschool Network:
Do you like a good story? We all do. As a child, I loved those rare, quiet moments in our very drama-prone family when my mother told me stories of things that happened when she was a child. I still enjoy listening to her stories and I try to ask questions to get her to tell more while being sensitive to memories that may still be painful.
My mother has always been a wonderful cook. A story she told me about her father gave me insight into how much she enjoys cooking and how important it is to affirm my daughter’s talents. Like many Nigerian teenagers, my mother attended a boarding secondary school. At the end of the school term, the first thing her father would do when she arrived home was take her to the grocery store. He would let her choose any ingredients she wanted to use in a meal, no matter how expensive. Then they would go home and she would cook a meal just for him.
That story means a lot to me, not because it was terribly exciting or interesting, but because it is MY mother’s story, MY grandfather’s story. It gives me the warm and fuzzies and a sense of knowing where I come from. I see the same response in my daughter. She is insatiably curious about my childhood. Recently she came across my middle school ID card. She wanted to know how old I was, why I need the ID (for an entrance exam), what the examination was like, whether I did well (I did), was I top of my class (only in elementary school).
If your daughter is like mine, she wants to understand you. She wants to know who you are. Who you are will help her understand who she is, especially in the tween and teen years. It will help her make sense of the the things going on around her. I hope that the knowledge that I did not have a perfect academic record will help my daughter understand that being in the 99th percentile in her standardized test is not necessarily a measure of her worth as a human being.
So, I encourage you to bond with your daughter over the stories of your life. Here are a few guidelines:
- Make time out to tell your stories. Schedule it in. If you have a pulse, you have 1000 things vying for your attention. The opportunity to tell your daughter about your life will not happen unless you are intentional about it.
- Keep it simple. Don’t look for stories that have a moral or great lesson to teach. This is not about getting her to do the right thing or make the same choices you did.Don’t try to manipulate her with your story. Just talk about the situations that were meaningful to you and even some that were painful. This is about sharing your heart and life with her. Just because.
- Use judgment in choosing story details that are appropriate for your child’s age.
- Be honest. Don’t try to make yourself the hero or victim. Look at the story from God’s perspective and try to present it to her that way.
She can’t get that from anyone else.
Blessings!
Sade
Be sure to join all the other ladies at the iHomeschool Network for our 5 Days of…Summer Series!
-
5 Days of Homesteading
from Connie at Smockity Frocks
-
5 Days of Decluttering
from Lisa at Chaos Appreciation
-
5 Days of Homeschooling for the Busy Family
from Jenilee at Our Goodwin Journey
-
5 Days of Homeschooling Pre-K
from Lauren at Mama’s Learning Corner
-
5 Days of Homeschooling in the Military
from Aadel at These Temporary Tents
-
5 Days of Kindle in the Classroom
from Jodi at Granola Mom 4 God
-
5 Days of Return of the Routine
from Tricia at Hodge Podge
-
5 Days of Homeschooling a Special Needs Child
from LaToya at Christian Momma
-
5 Days of Crafts
from Rebecca at Mom’s Mustard Seeds
-
5 Days of Oven-Free Dinners
from Tabitha at Meet Penny
-
5 Days of Freezer Cooking
from Stacie at Motherhood on a Dime
-
5 Days of Family Games
from Christine at Fruit in Season
-
5 Days of Camping Tips
from Jenny at Planner Perfect
-
5 Days of Educational Apps
from Kim at Not Consumed
-
5 Days of Real-World Math
from Joan at Our School at Home
-
5 Days of Summer Un-School
from Jamie at Unlikely Homeschool
-
5 Days of Using Your Slow Cooker
from Sarah at Sidetracked Sarah
-
5 Days of Summer Survival
from Susann at Momma Hopper
-
5 Days of Creative Co-op Classes
from Ami at Walking by the Way
